


The Inquisition Does Not Need Gold Scissors

by caitirin



Series: The Chronicles of Teithranen Lavellan: Plant-Obsessed Soft-Hearted Inquisitor [17]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Allergies, Courtship, Dalish Elven Culture and Customs, Dalish Elves, Dorian Being Dorian, Dorian is ridiculous, Dorian is trying really hard, Dorian tries to be a good boyfriend, Falling In Love, Idiots in Love, Iron Bull is amused, M/M, Presents, Sweet, Varric Tethras is a Good Friend, allergic reactions, giving presents, golden scissors, poorly thought out gifts, ridiculously extravagant, soft hearted inquisitors, teithranen lavellan, the inquisition needs plants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-13 00:19:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14738546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caitirin/pseuds/caitirin
Summary: After the gift of ten silk scarves Dorian wants to find an appropriate gift for the Inquisitor.  But what do you buy for a Dalish elf who says he already has more than he needs?----What did you buy for your barefoot elf lover?  Dorian had never been with an elf before, let alone one as obsessed with the outdoors.  Dorian and the outdoors were acquaintances at best. Or at least they had been until Tei had started dragging him through the worst of what the outdoors had to offer.  Dorian rolled his eyes and shook his head. If his old friends could see him now he couldn’t even imagine what they’d say. Nothing complementary, that much was certain.





	The Inquisition Does Not Need Gold Scissors

**Author's Note:**

> My Inquisitor's name is Teithranen Lavellan (Tei) and he is obsessed with plants.

The gift of ten silk scarves from Val Royeaux inspired Dorian to want to give Tei a gift in return.  Bearing in mind that the silk scarves had arguably been a gift for both of them, Dorian thought that he’d find something else they could enjoy together.  

He and Vivienne had made a trip of it.  She sailed off to pay a visit to her exclusive tailor and left Dorian to his own devices.  He ambled through the shops, looking for just the right gift. It had to be perfect for Tei.  He found himself browsing shops he found interesting, looking over books on magical theory and fascinating histories, but he had to keep stopping himself from choosing things that were simply something he enjoyed.  Tei’s interests were nothing like his; he didn’t read all that much and was bored to tears by conversations on magical theory anyway.

What did you buy for your barefoot elf lover?  Dorian had never been with an elf before, let alone one as obsessed with the outdoors.  Dorian and the outdoors were acquaintances at best. Or at least they had been until Tei had started dragging him through the worst of what the outdoors had to offer.  Dorian rolled his eyes and shook his head. If his old friends could see him now he couldn’t even imagine what they’d say. Nothing complementary, that much was certain.  

Tei didn’t particularly like shoes, so a new pair of boots was out of the question.  His armor was perfectly suitable and Cullen ensured that it was constantly being replaced when it got worn out.  Tei didn’t wear jewelry unless it was something that enhanced his magical abilities and Dorian doubted that he’d be particularly thrilled with decorative jewelry anyway.  He valued substance over style to an absurdly high degree. Dorian had given him flowers once and Tei had eaten most of them. He’d felt bad about it when he saw how appalled Dorian was, but explained that the Dalish give practical useful gifts and he had assumed that was what they were for.

Dorian passed over a display of hunting knives; Tei had several Dalish-made ones and he doubted anything in Val Royeaux would be an improvement.  He had been about to give up and just buy some honeyed pastries because he knew Tei adored them when he found the herbalist.

Plants!  This would work.  Tei had filled his Skyhold quarters with potted plants of all kinds and when he’d run out of space there he started filling the edges of the courtyards with growing things.  Dorian smiled down at the pots. But what to choose? Dorian hadn’t the faintest idea of what each plant was used for or what plants Tei already had scores of.

“Something I can help you find, Messer?”  The shopkeeper, an elderly man, walked up to him.

“Perhaps.  I’m looking for a gift.”  Dorian looked around. “The recipient is quite the gardener; alas, I am not and I haven’t the faintest idea what in here would make a suitable gift.”

“Always a bit of a challenge.”  The shopkeeper looked around. “Does your friend perhaps need some gardening gloves?”  He held up a pair of plain but sturdy leather gloves.

“He’s not my friend,”  Dorian said automatically.  He frowned, recalling the expression Tei had made at him for saying that in almost this same spot a while earlier.  He shook his head. “He already has plenty of gloves.” Dorian looked around. “I’d been hoping for something more... luxurious.”

“Of course.  Perhaps something along the lines of a balm for tired hands.”  He showed Dorian a line of tins filled with fragrant salves.

Dorian walked over and picked one up.  It did smell nice. Perhaps Tei would enjoy a balm like this, and Dorian would certainly enjoy putting it on him.  He set down the tin when he noticed another product on a shelf above it.

He picked up a bar of creamy white soap.  It had little flecks of something green and plantlike in it.  Yes, this would suit nicely. Dorian sniffed the bar and it smelled faintly of citrus and cream.  “I think this will do the trick.” Tei had appreciated the Antivan soap that Dorian had given him once, even carried it around in the field with him.  And perhaps it would result in more luxurious baths together.

 

When Dorian gave him the gift upon returning to Skyhold, he was pleased at Tei’s reaction.  Tei absolutely appreciated the soap. He’d held it under his nose and inhaled deeply. “This smells lovely, Dorian.  Thank you.” They enjoyed a bath together with only one interruption, an Inquisition scout report that Tei forced the poor man to shout through the closed door to his quarters.  Apparently a scouting report was not worth getting out of the bath for. Although he did, with silent gestures, threaten to drown Dorian if he tried anything with a scout listening just outside the door.

After their bath the Inquisitor shooed Dorian off so he had time to go through some mounting paperwork.  Dorian came back carrying dinner for both of them. He found Tei sitting cross-legged on top of his desk, his normal pose while he was working.  What wasn’t normal were the elfroot leaves Dorian could see sticking out of his collar. Dorian set the tray down on the bed and walked over to him.  “Amatus... you appear to be growing elfroot under your shirt.”

Tei looked up.  “Oh, well, something like that.”  He reached back and rubbed some of the leaves against his skin.

“I hate to ask, because I know I’m going to regret this, but why?”

Tei looked up sheepishly.  “Itchy. Sorry.” He tilted his cheek up, asking for a kiss.

Dorian kissed him and peeled back a leaf from Tei’s neck.

Tei put his hand over Dorian’s.  “It’s not a big deal, don’t worry.”

Dorian moved Tei’s hand away and looked at Tei’s skin.  “You’re covered in red bumps! What happened?”

Tei shrugged and put the leaf back in place.  “What exactly was in that soap?”

Dorian winced.  “Oh no, really?”  He scowled. “I don’t know.  I bought it from an herbalist.  You never told me you had allergies!”

Tei laughed.  “I didn’t know I did, but I guess there’s something in it that doesn’t agree with me.”  Tei held up a hand and showed Dorian the rash that continued down his arm as well.

“Vishante Kaffas!  I’m so sorry.” Dorian winced again.  “That looks wretched. Have you seen the healers?”

Tei shrugged.  “Don’t need to.  I know an allergic reaction when I see one.  I have herbs enough to treat it. I’ll be gone in a few days.”

“Is there anything I can do?”  

“Not fussing about these leaves for a couple days would be nice,”  Tei said with amusement.

 

Tei itched for an entire week.  Dorian knew he had to do something to make up for the soap fiasco.  He got Josephine to help him out and after two weeks he had what he needed.  It arrived wrapped beautifully in a small wooden box tied with luxurious deep royal purple ribbon.  He found Tei taking small amounts of elfroot from the plants that grew around Skyhold, always careful not to harvest too much from any single plant so it would keep growing.  

“Hard at work as always, I see.”  Dorian smiled.

Tei smiled up at him.  “Hello, handsome.”

Dorian laughed softly.  He’d been called many things in his life, handsome plenty of times, so it shouldn’t affect him, but there was something in that open-hearted way Tei spoke that disarmed him completely.  It was that beautifully open manner in which Tei expressed his feelings that caught him completely off-guard. He held out the package to Tei. “I brought you something. A little something to try to make up for my other gift.”

Tei stood up, dusting off his hands.  “I just hope it’s not more soap!” He grinned.

Dorian shook his head.  “No more soap. You’re picking out your own soap from now on.  And I’ll buy you as much of it as you can use. But this isn’t soap.”

Tei looked down at the box.  It had beautiful leaves carved into highly polished, honey-colored wood.  It was quite lovely. The ribbon felt very ‘Dorian,’ soft and probably far too expensive, but a lovely color.  Tei carefully untied the ribbon and wound it around his hand to save it. He opened the lid. The inside was lined with a deep royal blue velvet and nestled in the velvet was an elegant pair of golden scissors.  The handles had been engraved with elfroot leaves and the outsides of the blades showed the roots underground.

Tei paused.  They were beautiful.  But what was he supposed to do with a pair of golden scissors?  He ran his fingers over them, trying to scramble for a few more minutes to think of what the purpose of the gift could be.  He remembered a conversation between Dorian and Sera about her cutting her own hair. Was Dorian trying to get him to cut his hair?  He knew that his hair was always more messy than Dorian and Josephine would have liked it. Maybe that’s what this meant. Whatever the purpose, Dorian had obviously gone to great lengths to acquire them.  And that was charming.

Tei looked up with a bright smile.  “These are lovely. Thank you.” Maybe he could figure it out later.  For now they were just a perplexing gift.

Dorian smiled, looking pleased.  “I had them engraved especially for you.”  

“It’s a very good likeness.  The engraver must have known a good botanist.”  Tei closed the lid on the box and pulled Dorian in for a kiss.  “You must have put a lot of thought into this. That’s really lovely.”

Dorian brushed Tei’s hair out of his face.  “Nothing is too good for you, Amatus. Well, I suppose I should let you get back to your gardening.”

Tei smiled as Dorian headed back into the great hall and probably back to the library.  He was still trying to find information about Corypheus’ real name, and it was taking up a great deal of his time.

Tei opened the box again and looked down at the scissors.  Was it some kind of human courting ritual gift? Like the dagger that Tei had strongly debated making for Dorian.  In the end, Tei had figured Dorian wouldn’t understand the meaning and so had decided not to bother, but maybe this was some kind of symbolic Tevinter gift.  Tei chewed his lower lip nervously. Someone would have to know. But what if it was some kind of huge deal? Tei didn’t want to fuel the Skyhold rumor mill by spreading news around about gold scissors.

Discreet inquiries with Cassandra, Vivienne, and then finally in desperation even asking Iron Bull got him nowhere.  None of them had heard of gold scissors as some kind of special gift. Vivienne told him about a mocking joke in giving someone a silver spoon, but Tei was certain that hadn’t been the intention.

In the end, Tei put the scissors on his desk in his room in a prominent place and used the box to store his collection of stones with holes in them.  Stones with naturally formed holes were supposed to be special and to bring good luck in some Dalish traditions.

 

Two weeks later while on an expedition to the Emerald Graves, Dorian realized that Tei wasn’t using the scissors.  He’d meant them for Tei to use in plant gathering. But he watched Tei digging down underneath some Prophet’s Laurel with the same old dinged up shovel and an even older battered dagger.  Why wasn’t he using the pair Dorian had given him? It didn’t make sense. He frowned.

“What’s eating you?  Leafy isn’t gathering any more than plants than he normally does.  You’ve been paying extra close attention this trip.” Varric nudged Dorian.

“No, that’s fine.  It’s just... he’s still using that dreadful knife.”  Dorian folded his arms over his chest.

Varric watched Tei pulling up a root and carefully brushing it off.  “Maybe it’s got sentimental value?”

Dorian shook his head.  “I know it doesn’t. I was with him when he found it in some chest in the Hinterlands.  He just liked that it was small enough to fit his pouch.”

“So why do we care about the knife?”

Dorian made an annoyed gesture.  “Well, I bought him a beautiful pair of gold scissors for this.  I had them engraved specially for him. And... he doesn’t use them.  I mean, he said that he liked them, but they just sit on his desk.”

Varric looked up at Dorian thoughtfully.  “Only you would give someone gold scissors.”

Dorian scowled at him.  “I was trying to give him something beautiful _and_ useful.”

“You do realize that gold is the softest metal, right?  Scissors like that would get dulled in less than a day of actual field use.  He probably doesn’t want to ruin them. And,” Varric paused. “If you think about it, he probably had no idea what you intended him to use them for.  And he’s probably still fretting about trying to figure it out.”

“Kaffas.”  Dorian sighed.  “I’m an idiot. Ugh.  I didn’t think about that.  I’m not used to buying gifts for people who don’t like things dripping with gold.”

Varric laughed.  “Next time ask me first.  I can shoot down the bad ideas for you.  Get a pair made from steel. Seriously, Sparkler, he’s Dalish.  Just think utilitarian and durable first, and you’ll figure something out.”

 

It took a few weeks to pull everything together, but Dorian finally had it all.  He laid all the pieces out on Tei’s desk and then waited for him to arrive.

Tei was headed up to his rooms to change after a training session with Signy Trevelyan.  They were working on building up Tei’s core strength and it was a good thing, but it also meant that Tei was perpetually covered in bruises.  Less and less each time, but still. He ached, but it was a good kind of ache. An ache that meant he was getting stronger, more capable. He pushed open the door to his room and smiled to see Dorian behind his desk.  

“Finished allowing yourself to get trounced by that warrior?”  Dorian asked.

Tei massaged his upper arm.  “I’m getting less trounced every time at least.”  He walked over to the desk and looked down at the items he noticed there.  “What’s all this?”

Dorian smiled.  “These are your gifts.  I’m tired of making a mess of giving you things.  And I think that’s coming to an end with this round.”  

Tei raised an eyebrow.  “You didn’t make a mess--”

Dorian held up a hand.  “You were allergic to the soap, and the scissors were a stupid idea, because I didn’t think them through.”

Tei smiled.  “What were the scissors about?  Is it some Tevinter ritual thing?”

Dorian laughed.  “No, they were for cutting herbs, but I forgot that gold is too soft for something like that.”

“ _Oh!_ ”  Tei’s surprised face made Dorian laugh again.

Dorian held out a little cloth-wrapped bundle.

Tei took the bundle from him and unwrapped it.  In the cloth lay a pair of steel scissors. They had the same beautiful engravings, but the blades looked deadly sharp.  Tei’s eyes lit up. “These are perfect! And the cloth can be used to clean them!” He held it up with delight. “What’s all the rest of this?”

Dorian held up a small, plain-looking leather-bound book.  “This is a sort of botanical journal.” He opened it and showed Tei the pages inside, each laid out so someone could record the name of a plant, press a cutting, record notes about where it had been found, climate, soil type, and a whole bunch of other things.

Tei took it.  He flipped through the pages and his smile widened.  “You found this for me? It’s wonderful! I’ve never seen one like this.”

Dorian inclined his head towards Tei.  “I had that made for you. I asked four different plant people what it should have in it, so I’m hoping it works.”

Tei hugged it to his chest.  “I love it!” He looked back down at it and ran his fingers over the pages reverently.  “No one’s ever made a book for me.”

Dorian held up a satchel.  “And this bag is to replace those old pouches of yours.  The ones I’ve watched you mend five times. I mean I understand Dalish resourcefulness and mending, but those things are more patch than pouch and you deserve new ones.”  Dorian opened the bag and showed Tei the inside. “It’s got a pocket for that book, one for the scissors, and there are vials, and tins, and a whole ball of string for you to bundle up all the plants your little Dalish heart desires.”  

Dorian had hoped that Tei would be pleased, but he’d never in a thousand years expected Tei to leap over the desk and into his arms with delight.  The chair behind the desk tipped over and Dorian found himself on the floor with a very thankful elf laying on him kissing him enthusiastically.

Dorian pulled Tei close to him, returning the kisses.  He rolled Tei over so that he was now above the Inquisitor.  “This is a pretty good reaction for the gift of a pair of scissors.”

Tei’s face was flushed with happiness.  “No one has ever gone to such great lengths to give me such an amazing present before.”  He slid his hands over Dorian’s shoulders and rested his hands at the back of Dorian’s neck.  “You worked so hard and put so much thought into this. All for me.” He ran his fingers through the short soft hair at the nape of Dorian’s neck.

Dorian was trying to pretend that he wasn’t absolutely delighted at how happy Tei looked, but he was hiding it badly.  “Well, I don’t know what kind of place you grew up that a bag and book can make you this happy, but I am pleased to see that you like the gift.”  He had that soft look that Tei only ever saw when they were alone together.

Tei pulled Dorian back down into another kiss.  “The kind of place that makes you feel really loved when someone does something so thoughtful for you.   _Three_ somethings even.”

Dorian barked out a laugh.  “Two of which were unmitigated disasters.”

“I wouldn’t say unmitigated.  The hives are all gone. And I think I figured out what was in the soap.  So now I can avoid it.” Tei smiled up at Dorian. “And the scissors, while not good for what you intended, look really pretty.  I can dream about stabbing racist Orlesians with them. I bet Leliana might even approve since they’re gold and all.”

“Now that is something that I would pay to see.”  Dorian imagine the scene. “They would write epic songs about it.  And Varric would probably write one of his terrible books about it.”

“Varric’s books are not terrible,”  Tei protested.

“You shouldn’t go around advertising your poor taste, Amatus.  It’s probably bad for the Inquisition’s image.”

“If the Inquisition were so worried about images they wouldn’t have picked me as Inquisitor.  I figure romance novels are the _least_ of my flaws.”  

“Your so-called flaws just make you all the more appealing.”  Dorian winked suggestively.

“Well, I don’t know any scarf dances, but I think I can come up with something you’ll find interesting to thank you for this amazing gift.”  Tei hooked a thumb around one of the belts of Dorian’s armor.

“You’re telling me the Dalish don’t have any seduction dances?”

Tei laughed.  “No one’s ever taught me one.  But after enough sourvun I suppose any of our dances could technically be considered seductive.”

Dorian started laughing.  “I’ve seen you drunk. There’s nowhere in the world that your drunk stumbling could ever be considered seductive.”

Tei smacked Dorian on the chest.  “Rude! You said I was adorable.”

“I believe endearingly terrible was the phrase.”

“It’s a good thing you’re cute, because you are burning through your goodwill points pretty quickly here, Tevinter.”  Tei’s eyes sparkled with amusement.

“Well then, I suppose I’ll stop talking and use my mouth for something else.”  Dorian smiled wickedly. He started unlacing the front of Tei’s trousers.

Tei wiggled with pleasure underneath him.  “I thought I was supposed to be rewarding _you?_ ”

“Hearing the sounds you make when you’re clinging to me helpless in the throes of passion is quite rewarding.”  Dorian chuckled and slid his hand down Tei’s pants making Tei bite his lower lip and hum and clutch at Dorian’s shoulders.  “Yes, just like that.”

 

Tei was late to his next meeting.  And Josephine had to smooth his hair and tell him that his jacket wasn’t buttoned right before she let him go in.  She covered a smile as Tei hastily re-buttoned his clothing.

 

Two weeks later on an expedition to the Hinterlands, Dorian found himself dragging along behind Tei as the Inquisitor insisted on delivering a bundle of felandaris to some stone statue.  It seemed like a foolish errand, but it was just the kind that almost guaranteed Tei would want to rush out and do it. He’d been hanging onto that letter for so long, but it had taken a trip to the Emprise du Lion to actually find some felandaris.  Tei was walking a short ways ahead with Cassandra. He was showing her the gathered herbs and showing her the book Dorian made for him. Dorian caught sight of a flash of sunlight on steel and smiled to see Cassandra looking impressed at the engraved scissors.  Dorian found something fascinating to look at off in the distance so Cassandra wouldn’t realize that he’d been watching them.

Iron Bull nudged Dorian, knocking him sideways a step.  “Nice work, Dorian. He’s been showing that new kit to everyone.  Talked my ear off for a half hour about how much he likes the tins.  If it had been anyone else I would have sworn he was taking the piss.  But he was completely serious. And happy as hell. Well done.”

“Thank you, Bull.”  Dorian felt a surge of pleasure that Tei was so delighted with his gift that he’d told everyone about it.  

“Especially after the golden scissors thing.”  Bull’s chuckle was a deep resonant sound.

“You heard about those, did you?”  Dorian gave him a withering look. “In Tevinter it would have been a perfectly acceptable gift.”

“Oh, I’m sure.  But seriously, you gave a useless solid gold trinket to _him?_ ”  He gestured at Tei with a thumb.  “The kid practically has utilitarian and practical written on his forehead.”

Dorian started to say something sarcastic and witty and then changed his mind.  “You’re not wrong.”

Bull smiled and clapped him on the back.  “Hey, sometimes love makes you stupid. Luckily for you, it’s not a permanent condition.”

Dorian rolled his eyes and cleared his throat to avoid the way someone mentioning him being in love made him feel.  “How kind of you to point that out.”

Bull smiled widely.  “Anytime, Vint!”


End file.
